Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
