Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
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