I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
