Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
