38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
