U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
