question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
