I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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