come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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