I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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