So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Operation Purity has been aborted
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
