Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
