is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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