If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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