what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
