the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
