S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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