I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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