hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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