so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
