so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
