She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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