I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
