Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
