I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
