i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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