That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
