i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I came so hard my ears popped.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
