my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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