sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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