i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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