Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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