Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
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