I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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