I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
