We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
