Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
