Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
