There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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