You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
