we have officially lost it.
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
