STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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