i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize
