As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
