Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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