his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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