i jhust puked up my retainher.
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
