he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
