we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
