I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
