scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
